so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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