It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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