I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize