It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
