I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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