she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
