Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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