Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
