I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
