Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
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