the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
