He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
