put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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