I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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