Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize