I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize