I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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