Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
