Me. At least after what I've been through.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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