When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
