the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
bring money and cleavage
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
