I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
