Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
