when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
