ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
