We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
