I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
