I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
