let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
