You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
