Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
