he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
