just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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