I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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