It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
