Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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