Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
