Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
