is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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