we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Are we still banned from the library?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
