Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
