That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
