I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
