then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
