I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize