hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
