who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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