she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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