Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
