Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
