I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
