Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
