Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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