when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
