Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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