Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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