we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
