dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize