One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
