Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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