Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
