remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
