Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize