i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
