Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize