So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
