Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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