Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize