Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
