But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Couch. On fire.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize