no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
pray to the hookup gods
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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