I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize