Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if i died would you start the facebook group?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
