the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
