Porn is love you can see.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
