do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
