yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We named our party play list daddy issues
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
