i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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