and you said cock pushups were impossible
this just has baby written all over it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
