Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
