Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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